Open Letter to Eddy Kenzo from Relationship Expert that has left both Team Kenzo & Rema shocked

Dear Edrisah Kenzo Musuuza, You know how annoying it can be when someone interrupts your terrible loss and starts saying: I know your pain! So I won’t say: I know your pain!

I will just write the very words down. As the nation’s Dr. Love, I wish I could pretend that I don’t know your pain.

I have handled many hearts in grief, including mine several rounds over. Heartbreaks hurt so badly that no known painkiller can ease your agony, more so when it is a public affair and you are the celeb of three awards in 2018 and five in 2017.

I have watched you handle the torment alone; acting victim to society for sympathy, playing chivalry to Rema by allowing her to retain wifely privileges, congratulating Hamza as if this is politics, then the recent displaced anger on Muzaata and, generally, making fun of yourself.

I know it is a psychological defense mechanism to shroud your heart from anguish, but it is taking too long and distracting us from People Power. And, as you can see, your gimmicks do not really work, apart from making many laughs at you in a ridiculing way.

I have laughed, too, but not in a scorning manner; in an instructional way! Because… who wants to see a deflated Kenzo? …Who? See? No one! It is too late to try gazetting after all the army is also finding it difficult.

You cannot consult Maama Fiina because she has also failed to track and twist the necks of her husband’s killers. Boycotting music shows in Uganda? Well, it looks more like farting in anger; you become the first victim yourself.

But, does it help you reacting like mother hen after losing her chick to an eagle? Only one solution beckons; come to Dr. Love for counseling and I will help you swim across. Love is fragile.

If it can harass civilians whose main investment is a few skinny animals in bride price, how about you, my brother, whose input is in bounties of resources, affection, time, children, hope and publicity? Like life, love is a full package of ups and downs. And every lover is a potential heartbreak. You are neither the first nor will you be the last.

True, love hurts but it is supposed to. Rule number one of healing is time! Rule number two is …, never mind; let us just go with rule number one. With time, you will look back at 2019 and laugh at yourself, wondering what had got into you.

At your age, don’t think you have never hurt any girl! You must have broken someone’s heart along the way too; but are they all still following you? Nay! Where is Tracy? They all moved on and the name Kenzo is, to them, as of no consequence as that of Kakooza Mutale.

Dr Love Bainemigisha Hilary

Do you know how the country feared that name once upon a time? And there is nobody to blame. Not Rema. Not Muzaata, not me, not the Movement, and not even you! You are even lucky that she made up her mind after two years of separation.

Others leave in the middle of sex! Right before orgasm! So, ask yourself? What if she has grown out of love; would she have remained with you, cheating on you, producing other people’s children for you and making your life hell? If she had remained with you, out of love, for even one extra year; do you know how much investment (in terms of time, resources, emotions, hope, plans, etc) would have gone to the dogs in just those 365 days?

Eddy, in love, every day is an investment day. With every passing day, you invest time, emotions, resources, commitment, and hope, in a person you love. When it bursts today, you save something than if it was going to erupt tomorrow.

So, whatever the heartbreak, however, and whenever it happens, it is always good that what was meant to be, happens now rather than tomorrow. Marriage always has assets that mingle the two into a oneness difficult to disentangle from.

You had a wedding, two children, investments, secrets, similar fans, a bright future etc. If those were not enough to force her to stay and if Hamza and the unknown future were more attractive than your package; then you are probably better off with a new beginning.

And, I can tell you; I have handled people breaking down because of a lover, who was not even good enough for them, but it is what they were used to. Then after the dust settles, they get new lovers and discover what real love is.

They start praising the day the previous one left. Usually, when you are a faithful person, that love you have is a deterrent hindering you from getting better people you deserve. You keep too focused on making it work with the current problematic partner while good people pass by and get someone else.

That breakup happens to free you to your deserving partner awaiting you. It pains, yes, but it is like the necessary death that takes you to heaven. Many people who cried in my arms when their ex left, later thanked their stars for that exit because it paved way for a better person to step in.

So, stop blaming other people for your misfortunes, leave that to us in the Movement. Rema’s new lovers visited her parents on Independence Day. I want you to also start taking that day as your Independence day.

It is the how that is difficult and that is why I am there. Come to me all of you that are heavy laden and I will give you rest. But don’t just come fwaa! I am not a Government hospital! 

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Lukwago Joseph grew up in a newspaper family, and rumor has it that instead of playing the guitar in his infancy, his parents put a reporter’s notebook and a pen next to him shortly after he turned born eight years. Before becoming editor of UGANDANZ, Lukwago was a parliament news editor for WBS TV. He joined UGANDANZ in July 2018, A few months after the company launched. Lukwago also spent five years as a freelance reporter, where he covered reporting for the highest bidder, intelligence, foreign policy, and Ugandan police. Lukwago graduated from Makerere University in 2008 with a B.A. in Journalism and worked on his college newspaper.